Arthur's notes

Marjorie

2004-11-30T01:36:00.000-08:00

Marjorie smiled at me yesterday.

From Hydraulic Systems to Fishfingers

2004-11-17T04:53:00.000-08:00

These questions, like germinating seeds, sprouted pleasantly in my head. And, I was filled with reverence at the thought of those fine engineering minds that can devise such things as hydraulic systems,coupling devices, telescoping shafts, power take off,power steering, the internal combustion engine and all the features that make today's tractor the agricultural icon par excellence. Names like John Deere and Massey Ferguson crossed my mind, and I dwelt on humankind's extraordinary ingenuity in taming nature and securing a steady supply of cereals for our breakfast tables, wheat for our flour-mills and ketchup for our fishfingers.

Tractor Thrills

2004-11-06T05:05:00.000-08:00

What is it about a tractor in motion that gets the old ticker racing? Is it the pneumatic splendor of those mega-treads undulating purposefully over an uneven landscape? Is it that heady smell of high-viscosity engine oil and diesel? Or,is it the low-pitched grunt of its powerful motor as it sinks a deep furrow into a yielding field?

Bliss

2004-10-21T01:44:00.000-07:00

Once I'd adjusted to this more earthly reality, I became aware that, miraculously, the mist had lifted. It had been replaced by a watery sun that hung cheerily in a now amazingly clear sky. A sense of utter wellbeing took hold of me. I seized the moment, and unwrapped my sandwiches; bit into the layers of mustard and local sausage and eased their passage down my oesophagus with a dash of the lively stuff from my hip flask. I gazed at the fields and the tractor's slow, purposeful motion -
absolute bliss, I thought.

Amazonian Potpourri

2004-10-13T05:51:00.000-07:00

I whirled and whirled, oblivious of time and at one with nature - or at least, the nature of Yaxham and its environs. I was a bird in flight, circling the skies above; I was a shaft of light radiating from a dazzling sun; I was a giant whirlpool spinning in the midst of a vast turquoise ocean; I was carefree; I was uplifted. Alas, I was eventually ushered down from this exalted, spiritual high by the sight and smell of a tractor navigating in precise patterns a patch of farmland and texturing it with a thick and pungent organic, animal-waste-based fertilizer - that would have knocked the whirl out of even the most committed of Dervishes and sent him in a frenzied search for the nearest Body Shop and the Amazonian strength potpourri shelf.

Spiritual Awakening On The Road To Yaxham.

2004-10-09T02:26:00.000-07:00

I whistled and whistled the tune over and over again, each time with greater intensity until I was in a total 'Popcorn'-induced, joyful delirium. I even started beating out an accompanying rhythm on the taught tinfoil, stretched tightly over my sarnies -which had not only allowed me to economise on the quantity of foil used, but also now provided me with a marvellous percussion instrument into the bargain. I lost all track of time possessed, as I was, by a trance-like state. I was aware of the sharpness of the morning air, astringent against my face. The effect was utterly invigorating and I now began to whirl to the sounds I was creating, slowly at first then faster and faster until I became an East Anglian Dervish, soaring up to a higher plane of emotional and spiritual experience, somewhere on the road to Yaxham.

Whistling Down The Lane

2004-10-05T17:51:00.000-07:00

However, being of a stubborn disposition I persevered with my walk and took off down a misty country lane. Lost in thought, I waded through the mist, occasionally straining my eyes to make out a distant outline of a tree here, a fog-bound hedge there. And every now and then, the lit headlamps of a car could be seen making sharp incisions into the opaque, cloudy mass that hung about everywhere. Truth be told, I felt happy in my misty cocoon, shrouded from the real world beyond with its frenzied offices, wheezing doctors' surgeries, tedious supermarkets and all the dysfunctions of modern society. Yes!I was momentarily seized by a feeling of total contentment, so much so, that I spontaneously began to whistle 'Popcorn' to myself.

Mustard, Tinfoil and Fog

2004-10-01T23:48:00.000-07:00

Got up early this morning, made a couple of good, sturdy Norfolk sausage sandwiches with a generous splash of Coleman's mustard. Wrapped it all up in tinfoil, filled the hip flask with a dash of the old Scoth firewater, if you get my drift, and headed out for a walk to luxuriate in the local rural scenery. It turned out to be an extremely bad move, as a thick fog had settled overninght and swathed everything in dense layers of impenetrable, damp mist. Visibility was down to about 20 yards, hindering any attempt I made to take in the beauty of the vast and glorious East Anglian countryside, which usually stretches panoramically before you as you: motor, cycle, motorcycle, skateboard, wheel your buggy and child, transport the supermarket shopping, flee from a local penitentiary,drive the lead vehicle in a cortege, walk hand in hand with your lover, walk the dog, make friendly overtures to the livestock or simply perambulate through it.

Stan Visits

2004-09-30T07:21:00.000-07:00

Though our Indian summer endures, Stan came round yesterday. He's a former plumber, but now a 'Central Heating Maintenance Consultant' - this change having come about after a course he recently completed on niche marketing and domestic thermal unit maintenance. In a bid to secure a tighter grip on his segment of the market, he gave me a courtesy call to remind me that my boiler, sorry my domestic thermal unit, needed it's annual check. While he was here, he consumed 2 cups of tea (with 2 sugars and a dash of milk) and 2 custard creams. We discussed the unusually mild weather conditions for the year. He said, if it carried on his business targets could be compromised, as it's the cold that concentrates people's minds on central heating issues.

No Tornadoes Sighted Over Norfolk!

2004-09-28T00:29:00.000-07:00

Did you know?
. No other weather phenomenon can equal the destructive power of a tornado.
. Scientists are unable to fully understand how these violently rotating air columns
(which descend from thunderstorms) are formed.
. Tornado paths vary from 100 yards to 1 mile.
. A tornado is usually under 15 miles long.
. They can last from seconds to more than 1 hour. The majority don't last more
than 10 minutes.
. The effect of a tornado can be measured using the Fujita Tornado Damage Scale. F0,
with wind speeds less than 73 mph, causes 'light damage' i.e. some damage to
chimneys and TV aerials, etc. F5, 261-318 mph wind speed,will inflict 'incredible
damage' i.e. houses tossed off foundations, etc.
. An F5, known as the 'Tri-State', occurred on 18th March, 1925 and devastated large
parts of Missouri, Illinois and Indiana - it covered 215 miles, travelling at 60-
73 mph.
. No tornadoes have been experienced in my lifetime in Norfolk, though the beach at
Hunstanton has been known to get a bit blowy from time to time. A scarf is a
useful clothing accessory on these occasions, as there can be a definite chill in
the air.

Unleashing The Flymo

2004-09-26T17:20:00.000-07:00

The central heating went on today, sounding the final death knell on a whimsical summer- whose capricious moods subjected us here in Norfolk, East Anglia to perverse weather patterns, all summer long. A day of grim greyness was suddenly followed by great cascades of sunshine that tumbled out of the big blue up there, only to be overwhelmed a couple of days later by leaden skies that seeped a steady drip of endless rain. But, at least, it was summer, our summer and it's no more.

The Central Heating Goes On

2004-09-25T01:49:00.000-07:00